After listening to a podcast by David Kinnaman, author of You Lost Me, I wrote down some thoughts about how we can keep from losing our own kids. Last week, I shared part 1. Here are some continuing thoughts:
Instead of over-protecting your children, embed discernment into them. I’m not saying we should not shelter our kids from certain cultural realities, but we should temper our protection with some gentle exposure and lessons about decision-making. Teach them how to consult others, listen to their “gut” and make healthy choices. As Kinnaman stated, “prepare your kids for the grime of life.”
Equip them for the freedom they will have at 18. Kids are already more “free” than ever before with access to the world through media and the Internet. Doors are open for kids to be entrepreneurs, consumers and producers of services and goods. While this is a bit scary, we can be thankful that we still have them with us when they make impactful choices at earlier ages. We can help them navigate this world by creating clear boundaries and allowing some choices within our protective walls.
Embrace technology. I know it is hard to keep up with the pace of change we are experiencing, but this is and will be the norm for our kids. As my 15-year-old daughter put it, “I know it seems like things change fast to you, but it’s just always been this way to me.” You do not have to be an expert programmer or technology whiz, but you should take an interest in the technology your child uses. And remember, technology is just a tool. Use it as a tool to build relationships.
Finally, you don’t have to lose them at all. Kinnaman’s research reaffirms that the biggest influencing factor on a young adult’s faith, is still their parents. Though you may see them rolling their eyes when you talk about God, or complaining when you ask them to pray, they are prone to follow in your footsteps. Even the church doesn’t have a stronger impact. So live it out. Talk about it. Pray a lot. Remember the words from Luke 19:10, “For the Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost.” Be authentic in your struggles and watch as your kids catch the faith you are living.